guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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