i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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