Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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