Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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