I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
