i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
