If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
