i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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