I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
