soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
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That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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