she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
