you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
