on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
are you so shy because you have an std?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
