so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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