i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My bed smells like the plague
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
