question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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