Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
