Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
two words...techno handjob
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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