Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
This toilet bowl is my home.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
