peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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