I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
