i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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