I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
