He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
