Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize