I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
