I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
