I could have mohawked her pubes.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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