My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
