I cockslap morals
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
