Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.