What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.