My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.