My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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