8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
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drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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