I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
