My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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