you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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