Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
