this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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