Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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