im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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