Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
