I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
