ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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