He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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