Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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