you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
