he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
