I hate all girls vehemently.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.