literally had 100 drinks last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.