oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.