whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
