Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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