just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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