Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
