Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
