I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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