Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
