Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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