Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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